Cozying up to antisemites to feel “safe” is not assimilation it’s surrender – “It’s letting the world’s hatred rewrite your soul”
By Grant Gochin
I am a 61-year-old gay South African Jew, an immigrant to the United States, and, as Zohran Mamdani puts it, an “African American” immigrant. My body aches, my years pile up, and I carry the weight of multiple minority identities – gay, Jewish, African immigrant. I could stack victim cards to play the oppression game, but unlike most, I’m not here to wallow in your patronizing pity. I’m here to roar with rage, to expose the gut-wrenching betrayal of my own communities, and to fight the self-hatred and hypocrisy that’s tearing us apart from within.
When I arrived in America in 1986, after fleeing the consequences from having participated in the South African liberation struggle, I walked into a country that legally despised me. A federal law banned gay people from immigrating, labeling us diseased, deviant, unworthy. I had no choice but to bury my truth in the closet, suffocating under a world that hated me for who I loved. But the external hate paled compared to the poison within my own community: self-hating gays who turned their shame into a weapon. These closeted cowards spewed venom at their own kind, desperate to prove they weren’t “one of those people.” Look at Larry Craig, the disgraced Idaho senator, caught cruising in an airport bathroom in 2007 while preaching anti-gay gospel from his Senate throne. He voted to lock marriage away from us, to strip us of hate crime protections, all to hide his own desires. He wasn’t just a hypocrite – he was a traitor to himself and to us all.
This self-hatred isn’t just a gay problem. It’s a plague ravaging minority, and no group embodies it more viciously than self-hating Jews. As a Jew, I carry the scars of centuries of antisemitism – expulsions, pogroms, the Holocaust’s unspeakable horrors. Society branded us greedy, disloyal, alien, and some Jews swallowed that poison whole. They reject their heritage, spit on Jewish institutions, and cozy up to antisemites just to feel “safe” in a world that never wanted them. It’s not assimilation – it’s self-destruction. And today, these self-hating Jews are louder, prouder, and more dangerous than ever. They seize every anti-Israel article, amplify lies, and hurl vile bigotry at Zionists, pretending they can separate “Jews” from “Zionists” to dodge the label of raw, knuckle-dragging racists. They fail spectacularly. Their virtue-signaling isn’t just pathetic—it’s a betrayal of every Jew who fought for our survival.
Self-hating Jews have always been among us, gnawing at our collective strength like a cancer within. From medieval apostates to modern intellectuals, they’ve donned the mask of “progress” to mask their shame. Figures like Noam Chomsky, Norman Finkelstein, and Kelly Jo Bluen exemplify this in our time, wielding their Jewish identity as a shield while lobbing attacks at Israel and Zionism that replicate antisemitic tropes. Chomsky’s relentless critique of Israel as a colonial oppressor, Finkelstein’s dismissal of Holocaust memory as an “industry”, and Bluen’s social media rants against Zionism as a racist endeavor don’t just challenge policy – they fuel narratives that paint Jews as the world’s ultimate villains. Their words give cover to those who’d see us erased, echoing historical traitors like Mordechai Chaim Rumkowski, the Jewish elder of the Łódź Ghetto, who collaborated with Nazis to deport his own people, believing compliance would save himself. Or Nicholas Donin, the 13th-century convert who sparked the 1240 Disputation of Paris, leading to the burning of the Talmud. Or Johannes Pfefferkorn, the 16th-century Jewish convert who pushed for the destruction of Jewish books, aiding Christian campaigns against his former community. These figures, whether driven by survival, resentment, or ambition, facilitated Jewish suffering, their names synonymous with betrayal.
Zionism, at its core, is a simple, desperate plea: stop murdering Jews. It’s not about politics or land – it’s about our right to exist, to breathe, to not be slaughtered for being who we are. To reject Zionism is to reject that right, to greenlight the oppression and slaughter of Jews. Those who abrogate Zionism – especially self-hating Jews – aren’t just criticizing a policy; they’re cheering for our annihilation, aligning with those who’ve burned our synagogues, gassed our families, and driven us from every corner of the earth. They drape their betrayal in “progressive” jargon, but make no mistake: their words fuel the same hatred that fueled the ovens. They’re not just complicit – they’re collaborators in the oldest war against us.
This self-hatred comes from a deep, ugly wound. For Jews, it’s centuries of being demonized as the “other”, forced to erase our identity to blend in. For gays, it’s the weight of religious dogma, sodomy laws, and the DSM’s cold declaration that we were mentally ill until 1973. We’ve been conditioned to see ourselves as broken, shameful, unworthy. Social identity theory explains it: when your group is branded inferior, you either fight or crumble. Too many crumble. Self-hating Jews shun synagogues, mock our traditions, or obsessively demonize Israel to win gentile applause. Self-hating gays avoid queer spaces, parrot homophobic slurs, or stay closeted to “pass” as straight. It’s not just survival – it’s surrender. It’s letting the world’s hatred rewrite your soul.
I’ve lived this fight. I came out as a gay man, loud and unapologetic, in a world that wanted me silent. I marched for gay liberation, poured my heart and money into organizations that promised freedom for all. Back then, Jewish leaders stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me – many of the fiercest voices in gay liberation were Jews, driven by a shared hunger for justice. But now? In 2025, the gay spaces I helped build have turned on me and betrayed me. Homophobia has faded, but antisemitism? It’s de rigueur – a sick, twisted requirement to belong in queer circles. It’s no longer enough to be gay; you must denounce Israel, vilify Zionists, and spit on your Jewishness to get a seat at the table. To be anti-Zionist in these spaces is to cheer for Jewish oppression, to nod along as the world justifies our slaughter. Harvey Milk, the Jewish gay icon who died for our freedom, would likely be booed off a pride float today. The movement I bled for has become a cesspool of obsessional antisemitism.
The betrayal by charities and organizations we once supported cuts deepest, especially for a gay Jew like me who has poured heart, soul, and resources into the fight for equality, only to see those contributions twisted into tools that oppress our own people. Every organization receiving Jewish donations – particularly gay and progressive groups – must be rigorously scrutinized for their stance on Jews and the Israeli victims of Hamas’s brutal October 7, 2023, attack, which slaughtered over 1,200 innocents, including Jews, Arabs, and others, and took hundreds of hostages. Many groups I once supported have failed this test, issuing vague statements condemning “violence” without naming Hamas, downplaying the targeted massacre of Jews, or amplifying antisemitic tropes that blame victims while excusing terrorists. This isn’t neutrality – it’s complicity, cloaked in “progressive” dogma that paints Jews as the ultimate evil. Jewish donors, and all donors, must stop funding these traitors who demand we renounce our Jewishness or Zionism – our right to exist and not be murdered – to belong. Instead, redirect your money to organizations that stand for justice and true liberation without betraying the memory of October 7 victims or our fight for survival.
Self-hating Jews and self-hating gays are two sides of the same rotten coin – minority groups so battered by the world’s hate that they’ve turned it inward. But I’m not here to coddle their shame or excuse their betrayal. I’m here to call it out, to rage against the cowardice that lets prejudice fester in our own ranks. Those who reject Zionism aren’t just rejecting a word – they’re endorsing the slaughter of my people, my family, my history. We’ve survived too much – pogroms, bans, closets, and death camps – to let our own people tear us down. I’m a gay Jew, proud and unbroken, and I’ll keep fighting for both my identities, no matter who tries to silence me. The world’s hate couldn’t destroy me, and neither will the traitors within.
About the writer:
Grant Arthur Gochin currently serves as the Honorary Consul for the Republic of Togo. He is the Emeritus Special Envoy for Diaspora Affairs for the African Union, which represents the fifty-five African nations, and Emeritus Vice Dean of the Los Angeles Consular Corps, the second largest Consular Corps in the world. Gochin is actively involved in Jewish affairs, focusing on historical justice. He has spent the past twenty five years documenting and restoring signs of Jewish life in Lithuania. He has served as the Chair of the Maceva Project in Lithuania, which mapped / inventoried / documented / restored over fifty abandoned and neglected Jewish cemeteries. Gochin is the author of “Malice, Murder and Manipulation”, published in 2013. His book documents his family history of oppression in Lithuania. He is presently working on a project to expose the current Holocaust revisionism within the Lithuanian government. Professionally, Gochin is a Certified Financial Planner and practices as a Wealth Advisor in California, where he lives with his family. Personal site: https://www.grantgochin.com/
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