A brave act by one young wife and mother ensures that another remains a wife and a mother.
By Lennie Lurie
We read in the Hebrew Bible, Leviticus 19:18:
“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord”.
The latter Commandment is a core principle of Judaism that relates to the law concerning ethical relationships.
The Talmudic sage, Rabbi Akiva, declared that this verse: “You shall love thy neighbor as thyself”, contains the great principle of the Law (“Kelal gadol ba-Torah“) and stands as the central commandment of the Torah as it emboldens individuals to treat each other as equals. “Thy neighbor” does not refer exclusively to the Israelite neighbor but as we read in Leviticus 19:34, it is extended to “the stranger that dwells with you ….and thou shalt love him as thyself”.
The word “love” can be exhibited in many forms. Some Jewish sources have emphasized the importance of self-sacrifice in regards to putting our needs second to another’s. Confounding interpretation, Rabbi Akiva’s teaching of “Your own life takes precedence to that of another” contradicts his own principle of loving thy neighbor as thyself. However, we can accept the universal spirit of this command as expressed by another Talmudic sage, Rabbi Hillel, in responding to the heathen who requested him to tell the Law while standing before him on one foot:
“What is hateful to thee, thou shalt not do unto thy neighbor. This is the whole of the Law, the rest is only commentary”
However, the 20th-century Jewish theologian, Will Herberg, argued that “justice” is at the heart of the Jewish notion of love, and the foundation for Jewish law:
“The ultimate criterion of justice, as of everything else in human life, is the divine imperative – the law of love …. Justice is the institutionalization of love in society …. This law of love requires that every man be treated as a Thou, a person, an end in himself, never merely as a thing or a means to another’s end. When this demand is translated into laws and institutions under the conditions of human life in history, justice arises”.
A contemporary, Rabbi Jill Jacobs, has interpreted love as a motivation for giving to others. As a way to extend one’s hand to the community, one can give Tzedakah, or charity, which comes from the word Tzedek meaning justice. As an obligation, one must give to the poor “as a means of restoring justice to the world…not as an altruistic or voluntary gesture.” A way to outwardly and tangibly exhibit love is by giving. By giving to the community, one can demonstrate love outwardly while also embracing it inwardly.
Love has also been expressed as being the selflessness of mankind (Rabbi Louis Jacobs, Greater Love Hath No Man). Humans have the capacity to self-sacrifice in the interest of others, as every life is valuable and unique. When one risks his or her own life to save another, it is seen as an act of piety and an act of love and justice which “advocates the most excessive altruism…”
I wish to relate a real-life incident which embodies self-sacrifice in the interest of others, exemplifying all the human goodness in fulfilling the commandment:
“Thou shall love your neighbor as thyself”
Ma’ayan is no ordinary Israeli woman. The Hebrew name Ma’ayan translates as “a spring or fountain” and Ma’ayan literally bubbles with energy, love and goodwill. She was raised in the rural village of Kiryat Tiv’on, located about 20 km east of Haifa in the north of Israel. She matriculated from the local high school and undertook her mandatory 20 months military service in the Israel Defense Forces (IDF). She completed an Officer’s Course and was awarded the distinction as a Soldier of Excellence.
Following her service in the IDF, Ma’ayan studied and graduated with a B.A. degree in Psychology at the University of Haifa, worked for a while in the Ministry of Health in Haifa finally gravitating to the hi-tech industry. She also gravitated to Guy in the hi-tech industry. The couple got married, settled on moshav S’de Yehoshua, about 15 km from Kiryat Tivon and have three kids – an 11-year son called Omer, and two daughters: Yuval aged 9 years and Ofri aged 5.
And then, in May, 2023, Ma’ayan informed her husband Guy that she wanted to donate a kidney to a seriously ill person who needed desperately a kidney transplant in order prolong his/her life. Guy was momentarily shocked at this decision and tried to understand the motivation for this extraordinary and seemingly dangerous undertaking. Ma’ayan had no reason at all other than her desire to extend the life of a very ill person. She admitted that she had undergone lengthy periods of introspection and had felt that her decision was the right one. She had read that the operation itself, though serious, was not life threatening and that the donor, then with only one kidney, could be expected to lead a normal, natural and lengthy life. Guy felt the conviction of his wife’s feelings and promptly reassured her of his full support, cooperation and everything else Ma’ayan needed to implement this altruistic act of “loving thy neighbor as thyself”.
Ma’ayan had numerous meetings with doctors and medical personnel and undertook extensive medical checks at the Beilinson – Rabin Medical Centre in Petach Tikvah. She was interviewed by psychologists to ensure that her motivation was entirely altruistic and that she was aware that her donated kidney could be given to any person who was in need of same.
The date of the kidney removal and transplant was set for the 14th September, 2023.
On that unique occasion, just prior to the dual kidney operations, two youngish and attractive women faced each other for the first time: one was the kidney donor, Ma’ayan and the other was Efrat, the kidney recipient. Each woman knew that they would be forever “united” in that most beautiful and perfect of altruistic human acts: a kidney transplant!
Efrat was born with a genetic kidney impairment which only exacerbated with the passing of years. At some stage she had to have one kidney removed which created additional health complications. After her marriage, she was unable to fall pregnant. The young couple then decided to have a surrogate mother give birth to their child. Suitable arrangements were made with a professional organization specializing in this complex procedure. The couple travelled to Georgia where a local woman was impregnated with their embryo. In due course, twins – a son and a daughter – were born and the delighted and proud parents returned to Israel to raise their two children.
Sadly, Efrat’s remaining single kidney failed to function normally and it had to be surgically removed. This resulted in her undergoing the very arduous and exhausting process of dialysis, three times a week. She was unable to drink any liquids or digest foods / fruit containing liquids which imposed dietetic complications.
One can only assume that at this critical stage, Efrat must have realized that her life was lacking all quality and meaning. The dialysis process is soul destroying and leaves the patient with no hope for any permanent cure. The only possible and effective remedy is a kidney transplant. Other than that, the patient must anticipate the very worst …
So Efrat was placed on the list of potential kidney transplants. She must have been fully aware that with each passing day without receiving a kidney transplant, that inevitability of death was being brought closer and closer.
A miracle then took place when that courageous, kindhearted and compassionate Ma’ayan stepped into the picture – and Efrat smiled for the first time ….
A video clip movie was made of the actual scene whereby the kidney donor and the kidney recipient met each other for the first time in the hospital, each woman knowing that they will be forever “united” in that most beautiful and loving altruistic human act: a kidney transplant!
At first, we see in the video clip, the women who are facing each other are stationary but their lips are moving. We can naturally assume that they are greeting each other. After this very brief interlude, they each take a step or two forward and fall into each other’s arms, embracing like lovers! But much more than that: there is something in their hugging that seems to indicate an intensity of feeling, a unique bond sharing that will unite them and their families for all their lives.
No Hollywood director could produce a similar scene with such an emotional impact on the viewer who knows the background of that meeting! One didn’t have to hear the silent wording of the two women in the video clip to comprehend what was being said: words of passionate gratitude and appreciation, contrasting with words of pleasure and fulfilment. The wording was very secondary to the physical embrace which communicated everything that can be portrayed in that almost miraculous act of extending and giving new life to a much-endangered young mother with twins.
The actual kidney transplant was performed in sequence: the removal of the kidney from the donor to the immediate implant into the body of the recipient.
The kidney transplant operations were a complete success. Ma’ayan has made a wonderful recovery; returning home to her family and later resuming her work in Tel Aviv. Efrat now lives a full and normal life and together with her husband, take an active role in raising their 6-year-old son and daughter.
There is that well-known and used Yiddish expression: “Der Rabbi zocht!” (“The Rabbi says!”) What the Rabbi says, the congregant undertakes without question or delay. Believe it or not, but those amazing Rabbis of the extreme orthodox community in Jerusalem have told their congregants to donate their kidneys to those ill persons (irrespective if they are Jew or Gentile, religious or secular) who are waiting for a suitable donor to get a new kidney and thus have their lives saved.
These days, the largest sector in Israel that are kidney donors, are those religious Jews in Jerusalem who have taken that Biblical command: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” in its most literal sense, sharing their body organs with strangers to save human lives!
Let us turn to those two wonderful women and to all the courageous, compassionate and neighbor-loving organ donors in Israel and recite to them from the Book of Numbers, Chapter 6, verses: 24-26:
“May the Almighty bless you and keep you; may the Almighty make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; may the Almighty turn his face toward you and give you peace”.
Please forgive me but I forgot to state in the aforementioned story that Ma’ayan is my elder daughter! And I am an exceptionally proud father of a kidney donor who has fulfilled the commandment:
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself”
About the writer:
A B.Sc. graduate in Economics and Geology from the University of Cape Town (UCT), Lennie may be the only volunteer from abroad who was granted permission to leave his group on kibbutz during the 1967 Six Day War to rejoin his paratroop brigade that he had served with years before following his matriculation in Cape Town. In Israel, Lennie has worked as an Export Manager for some of the country’s major food manufacturers and chemical companies as well as an independent consultant in Export Marketing guiding many small Israeli businesses to sell their products and services in the world-wide market. As a result of a work accident in 1995, Lennie made a career change and became an independent English teacher working mainly with hi-tech companies and associated with universities and colleges in the north of Israel.
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